Biz&Co - think there is a business opportunity you are missing.
Start up the Funniest Home Video show and promote squash through laughing.
In fact my son bought me a video called Sports Blupers and it would be on a par with your incidents described in your post.
Heavens, my squash has been boring and far too serious too.

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I shouldn't really say it, but some of the funniest injuries I've seen on court are:

1. Someone getting hit square in the male parts by one hell of a strike. He dropped like a rock and curled up in a ball struggling to catch his breath. It was hilarious!
2. A good friend of mine was playing a one-armed man, and was so worried about knocking into the guy on a shot that he tried to go around and lost his balance, falling into the side wall and broke his own arm.
3. I was watching from the balcony when my dad snapped his achilies tendon. I could hear it snap from the balcony - ouch!
4. One of the players in my club has a very wild swing. In the space of 3 weeks he managed to catch 4 people in the face with his racket, splitting open 2 eyebrows, the bridge of a nose and someones lip. Showing no fear I went on court with him and found myself under said swing after a poor shot. Trying to be clever I leaned back, only to have the monsterous swing come down and clip the one area I didn't want to be hit in! Talk about pain - I left the court and threw up. No permanent damage done though!
5. After a heated argument with the referee, a notorious bad sport stormed off court against someone who we all thought was a gentle giant. The gentle giant apologised to the referee for his opponents bad behaviour and then calmly walked off court and knocked out said opponent with one punch - much to the applause of the crowd gathered around the glass-back!

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I've had my share of injuries in and off court!

First one I can remember was when I was around 8 y/o and my opponent snapped their racket over my left wrist. It hurt like hell and the swelling came up instantly around my watch-strap.

Second one was two black eyes from the same opponent in the same match! He hit me three times in the face with the ball and a few times in the body. Needless to say we never played each other again after that!

Third was done whilst getting changed - I was kneeling down to tie my squash shoes when I lost balance and twisted on my knee. The bottom part of my leg seemed to move about an inch or two out of place and lock (sort of dislocated). I couldn't straighten my leg until I forced the bone back into place.

I've tweaked a hamstring or the back of my knee numerous times - usually from going for a shot and doing the splits in the process. The knee usually happens on a dusty court when your foot slips forward and all your weight comes down on your knee.

But by far the worst injury ever was playing against a top county player about 2 years ago. I was around 15stone, and he was around 11stone. He dropped on the backhand side (right-handed), and I went in for the ball. Realising that I was about to collide with him (and probably knock him clean off his feet!), I tried to change course mid-flight. I turned over on my ankle and my entire foot bent at 90 degrees inwards! In what must have been 30 seconds, my sock looked like someone had hidden half a grapefruit in there! As I tried to stand up, my opponent and the ref both heard the ankle snap back into place. That put me out for about 4 months and I have to wear a brace everytime I play.

 

C'est La Vie!

ADZ

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A few years ago I played a social game.  I may have been feeling a bit lazy at the time, and it no doubt contributed to the incident.  The ball had gone past me and I ran towards the back wall to hit it.  I made the shot before the ball hit the back wall, but for some reason I kept on running (towards the back wall).  The trouble is, I had my racket at groin level, and when it came into contact with the wall, the handle jammed into my groin.  Luckily it was off-centre a bit, so no permanent damage done.  However, there was a massive bruise that developed, about twenty centimetres in diameter, with the associated lymph node swelling later on.  The moral of the story - once you've hit the ball, stop and turn back to the tee.  Don't be lazy like me.

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SamBWFC - one has to look after oneself here I think. 

• If we are going to pride ourselves as being able to play anybody irrespective of style or shape, etc it often becomes necessary to make adjustments to our game to overcome these very awkward situations. Otherwise, we either start a battle with an opponent, and then wipe him off the list, which I am not sure is the best way to tackle this situation.
• Our members are always very helpful on this forum and any comments they make are well intended.
• Eyewear has become a compulsory part of the squash equipment for junior players in the last several years. Also, it is our responsibility to recommend safety features, as our eyes, nose and teeth are something we need till death do part.
• Just to mention, In the mid 1980's when Canada came to play in the World Under 19 Junior series every players wore eyewear, and ours did not. 
• This forum has suggested squash speed has increased considerably with the new tech rackets making the hits alot harder, and the time to react alot less.
• I do know of a couple of top players who now have "split vision" because of being hit, and one with limited sight, and another spent a week flat on his back in hospital, so that is why we take this approach.
• And, yes, nobody has to take any notice and that is ok too.

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Unfortunately the players who really like to hit the ball tend to be the least accurate.  I was hit 5 times in one game by a body builder who had taken up squash to improve his fitness.  I came off court looking like an old man, all hunched over and frail.  I beat him easily, only gave him 2 points  but I wasn't too happy as I looked like I'd been shot continuosly with a paintball gun.  Not played him since and I don't intend to, he's a squash health and safety hazard!

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In response to the replies:

My eyesight is perfectly fine and I don't need to go to an opticians thankyou.

 

I've only ever been hit in two games, once in the under 17's tournament against someone I'll never play again, and last week when I got hit, which was a one-off. I'm not going to change my court positioning, which is the correct place to stand, just because of some poor-assed attempt to hit a service return from my opponent.

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eye injury??

View this post on the benefits of eyewear

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Sam - I feel I have this picture in my mind of you playing squash.

• Probably my gut feeling is that what is happening here is what I have suggested in the post "Dodgy Opponent".
• Once you have the experience, and presence of mind, to act quickly when these unorthodox players hit the ball, it will be ok.  Meantime, the most dangerous  opponents are the lower grade players and of course there is greater risk of being hit.  Why?
• They have little control over the ball.
• Because all shots, good or bad, are still "inside the playing arena", and are still in play. ( That is a very attractive part of squash for the less skillful).
• I am suggesting:
•  you wear an eyeguard, preferably I-MAX.
• that you only move to the T or centre of the court if your return is tight to the side walls/corners.
• if the return is half-court but tight you can still move into a relatively close position.
• that you watch the ball square on by moving into position as the ball travels, and place yourself according to the positioning of the shot.
• always keep in mind the angle of the imaginary line drawn from the ball the opponent is striking and the front wall and side wall nearby.
• vary your serve
• to the opponent who stands at the back in the corner - serve hard  so the ball land at their feet.
• do not stand and cringe, wondering if your opponent is going to clobber you, move out of the way so you can see the ball clearly, and then be ready for take off.

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If you have properly been hit in the eye with a squash ball it may well be worth seeing an optician as these can be very dangerous.  I personally have had few injuries but have been the cause of a few.  I think that sometimes you have to accept that accidents happen and people play the wrong stroke or just aren't thinking about a let when they should and it is only when this becomes regular that you need to worry.  I think that raquets hurt worse than balls, i was once hit full on under the chin by a dodgy raquet swing and walked straight off court as it was such a stupid shot to have played ( and it was only a friendly).  Apart from eye injuries your biggest risk is from yourself not your opponent as snapped ligaments and tendons are the most likely injuries and beware the chronic ones you play through, then can end up quite nasty.  I am resting a strained knee where i just played too much hard squash and pulled my quads tendons from consistantly streching too far.

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